So over the past 5 years or so I’ve lost over 100 pounds. I managed to lose weight like crazy.
I’ve got to admit something:
It sucks to lose weight.
Don’t bother. Why? Here’s my reasons:
1. Have to buy new clothing
So what if I buy all XXXL clothing? I already have a wardrobe full of it, why the hell would I want to replace them all? Besides, my batman costume already fits perfectly!
2. Can’t eat your favorite foods
Don’t eat bread??? Seriously? Fuark that! What else will I make my sandwiches with!?
Stop eating so much sugary stuff? How about no, scott?
NO BREAKFAST?? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? IT’S GOOD FOR YOU!
Next thing you’re going to tell me is that bacon is good for me… Oh wait…
3. You can’t give into temptation
Same as the last one…except… you know there’s a box of doughnuts in the other room.
just sitting there…. it won’t hurt…
no one has touched them for like an hour now….
you can just go eat one.
or two…
…or five…
oh god whyyyyyyy???
“The meal is not over when I’m full. The meal is over when I hate myself.” – Louis CK
4. Have to remove all that delicious food at home/work!
Throw out/donate/give away all that nummy food? NEVER! then I’d have to rebuy it all again!
5. Won’t be alienated by other people
They have more fun.
There’s truth to this. People tend to treat others differently when they try to get healthy. Does that mean you should be an unhealthy sheep like the rest of the flock? Up to you… If anything, I found that people treat me better as a person when I’m not obese, sadly.
6. Fat can help you survive a bullet or stab wound.
Maybe even car accident. I heard a story of some huge dude surviving a stabbing because his fat stomach protected him.
“Seat belts? Nah, I’m good. I’m 400 lbs.”
7. Fat is good for weight lifting
I’m serious about this one, extreme powerlifters need that extra cushioning to protect themselves when lifting 600+lbs. Apparently a big belly helps with squats. Otherwise it’s not much of an excuse.
8. It takes too much time to read about health and junk like that. So boring.
Why are you reading this then? Go away.
Go back to reading about celebrities and sports and TV. Go back to sleep.
There’s a good little consumer :)
9. Lose your ability to handle the cold.
Luckily I was born from Nordic blood, so I naturally have “+50 to cold resist.” I need it to live in this environment…Sometimes I do miss the excess “subcutaneous insulation…” sometimes.
Summer is much more tolerable now! (my hands are cold while writing this ;_; )
10. It’s too hard to lose weight!
Heh, I remember when I used to lie to myself like that…
…OK, kidding aside. If you’ve been obese most of your life, to lose weight is the SINGLE GREATEST thing you can do for yourself. It’s a first step to doing things you never thought possible. As you watch those pounds drop, your confidence (which obesity usually decimates) will slowly grow and burn anew. Eventually it will erupt and you’ll find yourself able to do amazing things. I’ve seen it countless times before.
Can you imagine how good that would feel?
Stop with excuses. Educate yourself and take the first steps. So what if you fail? It’s not about how often you fall, it’s about how quickly you get back up. Do it now or keep living in misery. Up to you. I have no regrets about it, other than wishing I did it earlier.
“Nothing TASTES as good as looking sexy FEELS.“
Tell yourself that next time you reach for a doughnut.
Your friend,
-Yossif
https://secure.flickr.com/photos/misteraitch/2971657597/sizes/l/
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/95/Flickr_-_DVIDSHUB_-_Marines%2C_coalition_take_part_in_Praetorian_Challenge_at_Camp_Leatherneck_%28Image_2_of_12%29.jpg
About Yossif
I love this post, it had me cracking up. Saw your post on r/keto and your pics. Amazing, and you look fantastic! I didn’t think you looked like a chubby lil kid though, you were so cute! I have a ton of friends who are hardcore cosplayers and have lots of fun with it. :)
Thanks! I appreciate it!